39- Verify the fault before criticising
It was clear by the tone of his voice when he rang me that he was angry, but he was trying his best to conceal his anger.This was not the tone I was used to hear from Fahd. I noticed that he was holding something against me.
He began to talk about the many trials people have to face nowadays. Then his tone became harsher and he began to repeat,“You are a preacher, a student of knowledge, and your actions will be accounted for…”
I said to him, “Dear Abu ‘Abdullah, would you like to speak about the issue upfront?”
He said, “Well, you gave a lecture at such-and-such a place where you said, such and such.”
I became amazed and asked,“When was this?”
“About three weeks ago”, he answered.
I said,“I have not been to that area for about a year.”
He said,“No, you have! And you spoke about this!”
It then became clear to me that my friend heard a rumour and he believed it, and on that basis he formulated his advice, his stance and his words.No doubt I still love him but my respect for him has decreased, because I discovered that he is too hasty.
How many are those who draw a conclusion or form views based on a rumour they may hear! Many of them come to advise you only to discover that they were following hearsay. Many of them allow these rumours to become imprinted in their hearts and on that basis they paint a picture of you, which happens to be false.
Sometimes it becomes widespread that so-and-so did such-and-such. In order to preserve the respect he has for you, verify the news before speaking to him, and this was the methodology of the Prophet peace be upon him.
A man came to the Prophet peace be upon him and the Prophet looked at him only to notice a man in a shabby state, his hair covered in dust. The Prophet peace be upon him wanted to advise him to improve his appearance, but he feared that the person might be a pauper who
had no money.
So he asked him,“Do you have any wealth?”
The man said,“Yes, I do.”
The Prophet said,“What sort of wealth?”
The man said,“All sorts of wealth: camels, slaves, horses, cat
tle, etc.”
The Prophet peace be upon himsaid,“If Allah has given you wealth, then let it be shown on your person.”
Then he said, “Does your camel give birth to young ones with sound ears, but you get hold of a blade and cut off the ears and call it Baheerah? And do you cut a bit of it, or cut its skin and call it Sarm, thereby making it forbidden for yourselves and your family?”
The man said,“Yes.”
The Prophet peace be upon him replied, “Verily, what Allah has given you is Halaal.Allah’s blade is the sharpest!” (al-Hakim who declared it Sahih)
In the Year of Delegations,some envoys came to the Prophet peace be upon himhaving accepted Islam to give the pledge of allegiance to him, whilst others came to him as disbelievers in order to accept Islam or to make pacts. One day, as the Prophet peace be upon himsat amongst his Companions, there came a delegation from al-Sadif.There were about ten of them.They headed for the Prophet’s gathering and sat down without giving salutations.
The Prophet asked them,“Are you Muslims?”
They said,“Yes”.
The Prophet said,“Why did you not give salutations?”
They stood up and said, “Peace from Allah be upon you, O
Prophet, and His mercy and blessings!”
He replied, “Peace be to you, too! Please be seated!” They then sat down and asked him about the prayer times.
During ‘Umar’s era, Islamic lands had expanded, so he appointed Sa’d bin Abi Waqqas as an Amir over Kufa.The people of Kufa at the time were wreaking havoc against their leaders.A group of them sent a letter to ‘Umar – may Allah be pleased with him – complaining about Sa’d. In the letter they mentioned many faults, even claiming that he did not pray well!
When ‘Umar read the letter, he did not hastily make a decision or write a letter of advice. Instead, he sent Muhammad bin Maslamah to Kufa with a letter for Sa’d. He also ordered him to accompany Sa’d and to ask the people about his dealings.
Muhammad bin Maslamah arrived in Kufa and informed Sa’d of the news. He then began to pray in the various mosques with Sa’d and started to ask the people about his dealings.
He did not leave a mosque except that he asked about Sa’d, and the people never mentioned him with anything but good. This was the case until they entered one of the mosques of Banu ‘Abs, where Muhammad bin Maslamah stood up and asked the people about their leader, Sa’d.They all spoke in praise of him.
Muhammad then said,“I ask you in the name of Allah, do you know anything else about him?”
They said,“No, we do not know anything but good.”
When Muhammad repeated the question, there rose a man at the end of the mosque. His name was Usamah bin Qatadah. He said,“If you have asked us in the name of Allah,then listen to what I have to say. Sa’d neither treats us fairly, nor is he just in disputations.”
Sa’d became surprised and said,“Am I like this?!”
The man said,“Yes.”
Sa’d then said, “By Allah, I pray to Allah for three things. O Allah,if this servant of Yours is a liar,and he has only stood up to show off, then prolong his life, extend his poverty, and give him tribulations in life!”
Then Sa’d left the mosque and headed towards the city, and after several years he passed away. But as for the man, the prayer of Sa’d never left him. He became aged, his bones became weak and his back became crooked. His life became so long that he tired of it.His poverty became so severe that he would sit on the streets, begging people for money. His eyebrows hung over his eyes due to old age.Whenever women passed by him, he would stretch out his hands to harass them. As a result, people used to scream at him and insult him, to which he would respond by saying, “What else can I do? I am a trial-stricken old man, who has been afflicted with the prayer of a righteous man, Sa’d bin Abi Waqqas.”
Hadith…
It is a bad premise for a man to make assertions.
It is enough of a sin for a person to speak whatever he hears.
40- Whip me gently!
What has preceded does not mean that we should not criticise at all. Often it is required to criticise others, including your son, wife or friend. It is, however, possible to delay your criticisms slightly or to use subtle tactics. Let him retain some of his honour.
After the Prophet peace be upon himconquered Makkah, he became well-respected amongst the Arabs,and people began to enter into Islam in multitudes.The Prophet peace be upon himthen decided to lead an expedition to Hunayn.The pagan army arrived in its best form and began to line up.The horses lined up first, then the foot soldiers, then the women, then the cattle followed by grazing livestock.The Muslims were great in number that day; twelve thousand altogether. The pagans had reached the valley of Hunayn before the Muslims and managed to conceal some of their units in both sides of the valley behind rocks.
When the battle started, the Muslim troops began to enter the valley and as they did, the disbelievers started to attack them from all angles with stones and arrows.The people became confused and the Muslim horsemen began to retreat.The first people to flee from the battle were the Bedouins.The disbelievers gained an upper hand and prevailed.
The Prophet peace be upon him turned around and saw the troops fleeing, blood flowing, and horses colliding into each other. He ordered ‘Abbas to call out,“O Muhajirun! O Ansaar!” Upon hearing the call, they returned and the Prophet peace be upon him managed to stand his ground with eighty or a hundred men, until Allah gave them victory and the battle came to an end.
When the war booty was collected and brought to the Prophet peace be upon him, those who fled from the battle in fear of spears and arrows were the first ones to come to the Messenger of Allah peace be upon himwanting a share of the booty.The Bedouins persistedly demanded of the Prophet peace be upon him saying, “Give us our share of the booty! Give us our share of the booty!”
How strange! Your share of the booty? Since when do you have a share in it if you did not even fight? How can you ask for a share in the booty when he was calling out to you and you were not responding? However, the Prophet peace be upon him wouldn’t scrutinise such issues, for the world did not mean anything to him.
They began to follow him and kept repeating, “Give us our share!” They gathered around him, thereby restricting his path forcing him into the trees.Due to overcrowding,he was brushing against the trees as he walked, and in the process his cloak got stuck in a branch and fell off his shoulders exposing his stomach and back.
But the Prophet peace be upon him did not become angry. He only turned to them and gently said, “O People! Please hand me my cloak. I swear by the One Who has my soul in His Hand, if I had livestock as many as the trees of Tihamah,I would have distributed it amongst you and then you would have known that I am neither miserly, nor cowardly, nor a liar.”
Surely, if he was a miser he would have kept everything for himself.If he was a coward he would have fled.If he was a liar,the Lord of the Worlds would not have aided him.
The Prophet peace be upon himhad many such great moments. Once he was walking along with some of his Companions as they passed by a
woman crying over the grave of her child.
The Prophet peace be upon him said to her,“Fear Allah and have patience.”
The woman was crying and overwhelmed with grief and did not recognise the Prophet peace be upon him.So she said,“Leave me alone! What do you care about my calamity?”
The Prophet peace be upon himremained silent and simply walked away from her. He had conveyed to her what he had to and had realised that the woman was not in a state to receive advice more than what she had heard. Some of the Companions turned to her and said,“This is the Messenger of Allah!”
The woman felt remorse over what she said. She got up to look for the Prophet peace be upon himand reached his home. She found no one at the door so she sought permission to enter and said,“O Messenger of Allah! I did not know it was you. I will have patience now.”
He replied, “Patience is to be observed at the moment a calamity strikes.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Kill gently…
“Verily, Allah has enjoined excellence with regard to everything. So, when you kill, kill in a good way; when you slaughter, slaughter in a good way; so every one of you should sharpen his knife, and let the slaughtered animal die comfortably.”
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